Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may engage in lying about various aspects of their lives, primarily as a means to capture and maintain the attention of others. This behavior often stems from a profound need for connection and a fear of abandonment.
Understanding Deception in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
For some individuals with BPD, deception serves as a coping mechanism aimed at managing interpersonal relationships and ensuring they remain a central figure in the lives of those around them. This is not necessarily an act of malice but rather a strategy born from an intense need for validation and to prevent perceived neglect.Common Subjects of Fabrication
The fabrications typically revolve around two key areas, acting as a "glue" to keep others emotionally invested and focused on them:- Accomplishments: People with BPD might exaggerate or invent achievements, successes, or positive experiences they have supposedly had. This could involve fabricating professional milestones, personal triumphs, or unique skills, all designed to impress and hold the interest of their audience.
- Challenges and Hardships: Conversely, individuals may also create or magnify stories about difficulties, illnesses, past traumas, or ongoing struggles. These narratives are often intended to evoke sympathy, concern, and a desire in others to provide support and care, thereby keeping the focus squarely on the individual.
The Underlying Purpose: Seeking Attention and Focus
The ultimate goal behind these various forms of deception, whether fabricating positive or negative life events, is consistent: to keep the spotlight on themselves. Lies about accomplishments aim to garner admiration, praise, and positive reinforcement, while lies about challenges seek empathy, care, and a protective response from others. In both scenarios, the behavior is driven by a fundamental need to feel seen, valued, and to avoid the painful experience of perceived abandonment or emotional distance. It is a strategic effort to ensure that others remain deeply invested in their well-being and life circumstances.To illustrate, consider the common types of lies and their underlying purposes:
| Category of Lie | Illustrative Examples | Primary Goal |
|---|---|---|
| Exaggerated Achievements | Claiming a promotion that never occurred, inventing awards or academic distinctions, fabricating impressive social connections, or exaggerating personal talents (e.g., being a gifted artist or musician without genuine skill). | To impress others, gain admiration and respect, appear competent and successful, and maintain interest through positive validation. This helps to secure attention by making them seem more desirable or valuable. |
| Fabricated Hardships | Inventing a severe illness or chronic condition, fabricating stories of past abuse or trauma, exaggerating financial distress, or creating dramatic interpersonal conflicts with others (e.g., claiming to be a victim of a cruel plot). | To elicit sympathy, receive emotional and practical support, evoke concern, and prevent perceived abandonment. By appearing vulnerable or in crisis, they can ensure others focus on their needs and offer assistance, keeping them central. |
