Steve Harmon's persistent habit of observing himself in mirrors and watching films of himself stems from a profound desire to understand if he remains the same individual he was before the traumatic experience of his trial. This introspective scrutiny is driven by a deep-seated fear and a search for visual evidence, specifically to determine if he has transformed into what he perceives as a monster.
The Quest for Self-Identity Post-Trial
The trial and the accusations leveled against Steve have fundamentally shaken his sense of self. His continuous self-observation is a desperate attempt to reconcile his internal perception of who he is with the external labels and accusations placed upon him.
- Reconciling Past and Present: Before the trial, Steve likely had a clear, albeit perhaps naive, understanding of his own identity. The legal proceedings forced him to confront a starkly different public image and question his inherent goodness.
- Seeking Validation (or Condemnation): By looking at his reflection and film footage, Steve is seeking objective proof—or disproof—of the person he has become. He is trying to see if the person staring back is still Steve, or if the trial has irrevocably altered him at his core.
Searching for the "Monster" Within
A central aspect of Steve's visual examination is his explicit search for a "monster." This powerful metaphor represents a deeper fear of moral corruption, guilt, or a dehumanizing transformation caused by his involvement in the crime and the subsequent trial.
- Psychological Manifestation of Guilt/Fear: Even if acquitted, the experience of being accused, incarcerated, and tried for a serious crime can leave lasting psychological scars. Steve's search for a monster reflects his internal struggle with the possibility that he might be, or might have become, the kind of person capable of such acts.
- Dehumanization: The term "monster" often implies a loss of humanity, empathy, or moral compass. Steve's fear is that the trial has stripped him of these qualities, or revealed a monstrous side he never knew existed.
The Role of Visual Media in Self-Perception
Both mirrors and film serve distinct, yet complementary, roles in Steve's quest for self-understanding.
- Mirrors: Immediate and Personal Reflection: A mirror offers an instant, direct, and intimate reflection. It allows Steve to scrutinize his facial expressions, eyes, and overall demeanor for any tell-tale signs of change or inherent malevolence. It's a highly personal and often confrontational form of self-assessment.
- Films: Detached and Objective Observation: Film footage, particularly from the trial or other recorded moments, offers a more detached and objective perspective. It allows Steve to observe his past actions, reactions, and non-verbal cues from a third-person viewpoint, as if analyzing a stranger. This distance can sometimes reveal truths that a direct mirror gaze might obscure.
Implications of His Search
Steve's persistent self-scrutiny highlights several key psychological and thematic elements:
Aspect of Self | Before Trial (Memory) | After Trial (Present Search) |
---|---|---|
Identity | Perceived as stable, known | Questioned, fragmented, uncertain |
Self-Image | Innocent, ordinary | Potentially guilty, "othered," monstrous |
Emotional State | Normal, everyday anxieties | Marked by fear, doubt, and introspection |
Purpose of Vision | Casual observation | Deep psychological investigation |
This internal struggle is a profound exploration of identity, guilt, and the impact of the justice system on an individual's psyche, particularly as depicted in the novel Monster by Walter Dean Myers. Learn more about the novel and its themes on Wikipedia.