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What to say to someone in a coma?

Published in Coma Communication 4 mins read

When communicating with someone in a coma, the most important approach is to speak to them as you normally would, as if they can hear everything you say – because they might. Your voice, your presence, and gentle physical touch can provide significant comfort and a vital connection to the world around them.

The Importance of Ongoing Communication

Despite being in an unconscious state, there is a possibility that individuals in a coma can process sounds and even understand what is being said. Maintaining consistent communication helps to provide a sense of normalcy, familiarity, and support. It reassures them that they are not alone and are still part of your life.

What to Talk About

It's helpful to communicate in a calm, reassuring, and positive tone. Focus on bringing comforting and familiar elements into their environment.

  • Share your day: Talk about your routine activities, daily events, and what's happening outside the hospital room.
    • Examples: "It's a beautiful, sunny day today. I just finished gardening and the roses are blooming." or "Your favorite sports team won their game last night!"
  • Provide family and friend updates: Let them know who is visiting and what family members or close friends are doing.
    • Examples: "Sarah sends her love and can't wait to see you soon." or "The kids are doing great in school and miss you very much."
  • Recount shared memories: Talk about happy times you've spent together, inside jokes, or significant events from your past.
    • Examples: "Remember that funny incident when we went on holiday to [place]?" or "I was just thinking about [a shared hobby or interest] and all the fun we had."
  • Discuss future plans: Talk about things you look forward to doing with them when they recover. This can provide a sense of hope and normalcy.
    • Examples: "I can't wait for us to go to [favorite restaurant/place] again." or "We'll watch that new movie together once you're feeling better."
  • Read aloud: Read from their favorite books, magazines, newspaper articles, or even letters and cards they've received.
  • Play familiar sounds: Bring in a portable player and play their favorite music, calming nature sounds, or even recordings of family members talking.

Showing Love and Support Through Presence and Touch

Beyond spoken words, your physical presence and gentle touch are incredibly comforting and convey immense support. Even when someone is unresponsive, these actions can provide reassurance and a sense of connection.

  • Maintain physical contact: Sitting by their bedside, gently holding their hand, or stroking their arm or hair can be a great comfort. This physical connection can be very grounding and calming.
  • Speak directly and reassuringly: Use a calm, loving tone. Let them know you are there, that you love them, and that you are thinking of them. Simple phrases like "I'm here for you," "You're not alone," or "We all love you very much" can be powerful.

General Guidelines for Visitors

When you are in the room with someone in a coma, it's important for everyone present to be mindful of what they say and do, as the individual may perceive their environment.

Do's Don'ts
Talk in a normal, calm, and loving voice. Discuss distressing, negative, or stressful topics.
Always assume they can hear you. Make critical remarks about them or their condition.
Clearly identify yourself when you arrive. Engage in overly loud or disruptive conversations.
Maintain a positive and hopeful atmosphere. Discuss prognosis negatively in their presence.
Encourage others to speak to them as well. Forget about their potential awareness.

Why Your Words Matter

While the exact level of consciousness in a coma can vary, the brain may still process auditory stimuli. Your voice can offer comfort, familiarity, and a vital link to the outside world. This connection is believed to be crucial for well-being and may even play a role in their journey towards recovery. Your consistent presence and communication are invaluable.