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Can I move in with my boyfriend before my divorce is final?

Published in Divorce Law 4 mins read

It is generally not recommended to move in with a new partner before your divorce is finalized, as it can have significant negative implications for your case.

Moving in with a new partner, often referred to as cohabitation, while still legally married can complicate various aspects of your divorce proceedings, including child custody arrangements, the division of marital property, and spousal support (alimony) payments. While it might be tempting for companionship or financial reasons, courts often view such actions unfavorably.

Why Cohabiting Before Divorce is Risky

Courts aim to ensure fair outcomes and protect the best interests of any children involved. Introducing a new partner before the divorce is final can be seen as creating instability or even as an attempt to hide assets or income.

Potential Impacts on Your Divorce

Cohabitation can influence a judge's perception and decision-making in several critical areas of your divorce.

  • Child Custody and Visitation:

    • Perceived Instability: The court might view your new relationship as creating an unstable environment for your children, especially if the children are introduced to the new partner too quickly or the relationship itself is seen as volatile.
    • Focus on Children: The court's primary concern is the child's best interests. Your ex-spouse could argue that your focus has shifted from your children to your new relationship, potentially impacting custody decisions.
    • Moral Clause Violations: Some temporary court orders or separation agreements may include "morality clauses" that prohibit overnight guests of the opposite sex if children are present. Violating such a clause could lead to penalties or a negative impression from the court.
  • Property Division:

    • Commingling of Finances: If you share expenses or commingle finances with your new partner before the divorce is final, it can complicate the identification and division of marital assets and debts. Your ex-spouse might argue that marital funds are being used to support your new partner or their household.
    • Allegations of Asset Dissipation: If the court perceives that marital funds are being spent on the new relationship rather than being preserved as marital property, it could be viewed as "dissipation" of assets, potentially resulting in a less favorable property division for you.
  • Alimony (Spousal Support):

    • Reduced Financial Need: In many jurisdictions, cohabitation with a new partner is a common ground for terminating or reducing spousal support payments. The reasoning is that if you are living with a new partner, your financial need for support from your ex-spouse may have decreased due to shared expenses or the new partner's financial contributions.
    • Impact on Justification: It can weaken your argument for receiving or maintaining spousal support if the court believes you are receiving financial benefits from your new living arrangement.
Aspect Affected Potential Consequence
Child Custody Could be seen as creating an unstable environment, perceived lack of focus on children's best interests, or violation of court orders.
Property Division Potential for commingling assets, allegations of dissipating marital funds on the new relationship, making asset valuation more complex.
Alimony/Spousal Support Risk of termination or significant reduction of payments, as cohabitation often implies a reduced financial need due to shared expenses or support from the new partner.
Overall Perception May create negative optics for the court, suggesting a lack of discretion or a prioritization of the new relationship over the proper resolution of the divorce, potentially leading to less favorable outcomes.

Practical Considerations

Before making any decisions about cohabiting, consider the following:

  • Jurisdictional Differences: Family laws vary significantly by state. What is permissible or impactful in one state may be different in another. It's crucial to understand the specific laws in your jurisdiction.
  • Optics to the Court: Even if legally permissible, the appearance of living with a new partner can sway a judge's opinion, particularly in emotionally charged cases involving children or contentious financial disputes.
  • Impact on Negotiations: Your cohabitation could give your ex-spouse leverage in negotiations, making it harder to reach an amicable settlement on various issues.

What to Do Instead

If you are considering moving in with a new partner before your divorce is final, it is strongly advised to consult with an experienced family law attorney. They can provide personalized advice based on your specific situation, the laws in your state, and the details of your divorce case. Waiting until the divorce is officially finalized can help you avoid potential legal complications and ensure a smoother process.