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How do dogs say "I'm sorry"?

Published in Dog Behavior 2 mins read

Dogs don't say "I'm sorry" with words, but they demonstrate appeasement behaviors that humans interpret as apologies. These behaviors are calming signals used to defuse tension and show submission.

Here's a breakdown of how dogs express what we perceive as an apology:

  • Calming Signals/Appeasement Behaviors: Dogs use a variety of body language cues to communicate "I mean no harm" or "I'm sorry." These include:

    • Lip Licking: Quickly flicking their tongue in and out.
    • Yawning: Even when they aren't tired.
    • Turning Away: Avoiding direct eye contact.
    • Showing the Whites of Their Eyes (Whale Eye): Indicating discomfort or stress.
    • Crouching or Lowering the Body: Making themselves smaller and less threatening.
    • Tail Tucked: Another sign of submission or fear.
    • Ears Pinned Back: Showing submission.
    • Slow Movements: Avoiding sudden or jerky motions.
    • Play Bow: This is a gesture that can also be used to appease by indicating playful intent rather than aggression.
    • Submissive Grin: A slight lifting of the lips that looks like a smile but is actually a sign of stress/appeasement.
  • Observing Human Body Language: Dogs are adept at reading human body language. They quickly learn which behaviors upset their owners and use appeasement signals in response to perceived disapproval. They are constantly analyzing our movements and interpreting our emotional state.

  • Context is Key: It is important to understand the context in which these behaviors occur. If a dog has just chewed your shoe and then displays several of the calming signals listed above, it is likely they are aware of your displeasure and are attempting to appease you.

  • Not Guilt, But Appeasement: While we often anthropomorphize these behaviors as "guilt," it's more accurate to say that dogs are exhibiting appeasement behaviors to reduce tension and avoid conflict. They recognize a change in your demeanor and respond accordingly.

In summary, dogs express what we perceive as "I'm sorry" by using calming signals and appeasement behaviors aimed at diffusing tension and demonstrating submission, based on their interpretation of our body language.