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What is an Italian kiss?

Published in Italian Etiquette 4 mins read

An Italian kiss most commonly refers to the social greeting where two people lightly touch cheeks and make a kissing sound, typically on both sides. This gesture is a deeply ingrained part of Italian culture, serving as a genuine expression of warmth and connection.

The Social Italian Kiss: Il Bacio Sulla Guancia

In Italy, the act of a kiss on both cheeks is not merely a greeting; it's considered the currency of genuine connection among friends, family, and even close acquaintances. It signifies familiarity, trust, and affection. For those unfamiliar with the custom, it might take a bit of practice to master.

What It Is

The Italian social kiss, known as il bacio sulla guancia (the kiss on the cheek), involves:

  • No actual lip-to-skin contact: It's an air kiss, where lips typically don't touch the cheek. The sound of a kiss is made.
  • Two cheeks: Usually, one cheek is offered first, followed by the other.

When and Where It's Used

This type of greeting is prevalent in various social situations across Italy:

  • Greetings and Farewells: When meeting or parting ways with friends and family.
  • Amongst Acquaintances: Depending on the level of familiarity and warmth, it can extend to colleagues or neighbors.
  • Celebrations: At parties, weddings, or family gatherings, it’s a standard way to acknowledge others.
  • Gender Neutral: It's common for women to kiss women, men to kiss women, and increasingly, men to kiss men, especially among close friends or family members.

How to Execute It

While seemingly simple, there's a common flow to the Italian cheek kiss:

  1. Approach: Lean in towards the person.
  2. First Side: Typically, you offer your right cheek first (meaning you turn your head to the right, to meet their left cheek).
  3. The "Kiss": Make a soft kissing sound in the air near their cheek.
  4. Second Side: Switch to the other side, usually offering your left cheek to meet their right, and repeat the kissing sound.
  5. Embrace (Optional): Often accompanied by a light hug or a hand on the shoulder, especially with close relations.

Cultural Significance

More than just a formality, the social Italian kiss is a profound cultural gesture that conveys:

  • Warmth and Affection: It immediately establishes a sense of closeness.
  • Trust and Acceptance: By engaging in this intimate greeting, individuals signal their comfort and acceptance of each other.
  • Community: It reinforces social bonds and the strong sense of community that is characteristic of Italian culture.

Beyond the Cheeks: Other Interpretations

While the two-cheek air kiss is the definitive "Italian kiss" within Italy itself, the term can sometimes be misinterpreted in English-speaking cultures.

The Romantic "Italian Kiss"

Outside of Italy, "Italian kiss" is occasionally used colloquially to refer to a passionate, open-mouthed kiss, often synonymous with what is more widely known as a "French kiss." This usage is not a direct cultural reference within Italy but rather an external association with Italian romance and passion. It is distinct from the social cheek kiss discussed above.

Navigating Italian Kiss Etiquette

Understanding when and how to offer a social kiss can enhance your interactions in Italy.

Context Typical Practice Notes
Greeting Close Friends Two kisses (right cheek, then left) Standard, expected, shows warmth and familiarity.
Greeting Family Members Two kisses (right cheek, then left) Universal among all family members.
Meeting New Acquaintances Handshake, possibly no kiss initially A kiss might only come after some familiarity is established.
Formal Business Settings Handshake is primary, unless very close relationship Less common in strict professional contexts.
Public Social Gatherings Depends on familiarity; observe local customs Follow the lead of others.

It's always best to observe and follow the lead of the person you are greeting. If someone leans in for a kiss, reciprocate; if they offer a handshake, respond in kind. This adaptability is key to successful social interactions. For more general insights into Italian social etiquette, consider exploring reliable guides on Italian culture and customs.