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What is a femme top?

Published in LGBTQ+ Terminology 1 min read

A "femme top" is a term traditionally used within the queer community, particularly among gay men, to describe someone who presents with a feminine appearance but takes on the active, penetrative role (i.e., the "top" role) during sexual activity.

In more detail:

  • Traditional Understanding: The term challenges conventional expectations related to gender expression and sexual roles. Typically, the "top" role is associated with masculinity, and the "bottom" with femininity. A femme top inverts this association.

  • Beyond Gender Stereotypes: The use of "femme top" acknowledges that gender presentation doesn't dictate sexual preference or role. It recognizes that individuals can identify and express themselves femininely while still preferring to be the active partner in sexual encounters.

  • Context is Key: The meaning and use of the term can vary within different queer communities and subcultures.

  • Evolution of Terminology: As discussions around gender and sexuality become more nuanced, the term "femme top," like many labels, is subject to ongoing re-evaluation and discussion. Some individuals may find it empowering, while others may feel it reinforces binary thinking.

In essence, a femme top is someone who "looks like a bottom but is a top," defying gendered expectations around sexual roles.