Mildred's overdose was primarily a consequence of her profound and pervasive pursuit of numbness, which she mistakenly equated with happiness and contentment. This state of emotional detachment, constantly maintained through various means, ultimately led to what was likely an accidental overdose on sleeping pills.
The Cycle of Numbness
In her existence, Mildred dedicated herself to avoiding genuine feelings and experiences. Rather than confronting reality or seeking true joy, she gravitated towards a continuous state of emotional void. This lifestyle involved:
- Constant Escapism: Mildred spent her days immersed in technological distractions and superficial interactions, creating a barrier between herself and the world.
- Misinterpretation of Well-being: Crucially, she confused this absence of feeling—this deliberate numbness—with a state of peace and satisfaction. She believed that being numb meant she was content, thereby reinforcing her reliance on it.
The Accidental Outcome
Her consistent efforts to maintain this numb state involved the use of sleeping pills. While her intent was to perpetuate her preferred emotional detachment, the overdose itself was not a deliberate act of self-harm but rather an unfortunate side effect of her desperate need to remain insensible. It was a culmination of her attempts to escape and her inability to discern true happiness from a manufactured, medicated tranquility.
