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What do you call more than friends but less than lovers?

Published in Modern Relationships 4 mins read

The term for a relationship that is more than friends but less than lovers is a situationship.

Understanding a Situationship

A situationship describes a romantic or sexual relationship that lacks clear definition, commitment, or the traditional labels of a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner. People in a situationship are typically more than platonic friends but fall short of being committed romantic partners. The term itself is often used to encompass a broad spectrum of connections that involve romance, sex, or both, without the explicit boundaries or future plans usually found in a defined relationship.

Key Characteristics of a Situationship

Situationships are often characterized by a degree of ambiguity and inconsistency. They can be confusing due to a lack of shared understanding about the nature and future of the connection. Here are some common signs:

  • Lack of Labels: There's no clear title or public acknowledgment of the relationship (e.g., "dating," "girlfriend," "boyfriend").
  • Undefined Future: Discussions about the future of the relationship are often avoided, vague, or non-existent. There's no sense of progression towards commitment.
  • Inconsistent Communication: Communication may be sporadic, with periods of intense contact followed by silence, leading to uncertainty.
  • Emotional Ambiguity: One or both parties might express affection or behave like a couple without explicitly defining the emotional commitment.
  • Physical Intimacy without Commitment: Sexual or physical intimacy often occurs, but it's not accompanied by the emotional depth or security of a committed partnership.
  • Keeping Options Open: Individuals involved may continue to date or explore connections with other people, indicating a lack of exclusivity.
  • Convenience Over Commitment: The relationship might be driven by convenience, proximity, or a temporary desire for companionship, rather than a deep, long-term connection.

Why Do Situationships Occur?

Several factors can lead to individuals finding themselves in a situationship:

  • Fear of Commitment: One or both individuals may be hesitant to commit due to past experiences, personal fears, or a desire for independence.
  • Conflicting Expectations: One person might be seeking a casual arrangement, while the other desires something more serious, leading to an unspoken mismatch.
  • Convenience: Busy schedules, geographical distance, or a desire for low-pressure companionship can make a situationship appealing.
  • Exploration: Individuals might be unsure about what they want from a relationship and use a situationship to explore their feelings without pressure.

Navigating a Situationship

If you find yourself in a situationship and desire more clarity or a different outcome, consider these approaches:

  • Self-Reflection: Determine what you truly want and need from a relationship. Are you comfortable with the current ambiguity, or do you crave more?
  • Open Communication: While daunting, having an honest conversation about expectations and feelings is crucial. Express your needs clearly and listen to the other person's perspective.
  • Set Boundaries: If the relationship continues without a clear definition, establish personal boundaries to protect your emotional well-being.
  • Define Your Desires: Be prepared to either accept the situationship for what it is or move on if it doesn't align with your long-term relationship goals.
  • Prioritize Your Well-being: If the ambiguity causes stress or unhappiness, it might be time to re-evaluate whether the relationship serves your best interests.

Situationship vs. Other Relationship Types

Understanding how a situationship differs from other common relationship statuses can provide clarity:

Feature Friendship Situationship Committed Relationship
Labels/Definition Friends, platonic Unlabeled, ambiguous Clearly defined (e.g., boyfriend, partner)
Commitment None (platonic) Low to none; uncertain High; mutual dedication and exclusivity
Future No romantic future implied Undefined, often avoided Shared plans, long-term vision
Communication Varies, can be consistent or sporadic Often inconsistent, can be confusing Consistent, open, and transparent
Intimacy Primarily emotional (platonic) Can include physical and emotional, but inconsistent Both emotional and physical, with deep trust
Exclusivity Not applicable Rarely exclusive, often implied non-exclusivity Generally exclusive (unless otherwise agreed)

For further understanding of the term, you can refer to definitions provided by reputable sources such as Merriam-Webster.