Mitski's critically acclaimed 2018 album, Be the Cowboy, explores themes of performance, longing, identity, and the struggle for self-assertion in modern relationships and society. At its core, the album's meaning is deeply rooted in the concept of taking control and prioritizing one's own needs, even when it feels counter-intuitive or goes against societal expectations.
The Origin of the Title: Embracing Self-Assertion
The album's distinctive title, "Be the Cowboy," directly stems from a personal mantra Mitski adopted for herself. She jokingly, yet profoundly, reminded herself to "Be the cowboy you wish to see the world." This simple phrase served as a powerful antidote to her tendency towards subservience and people-pleasing.
Instead of consistently prioritizing the needs and desires of others, she began to ask herself, "Well, what would a cowboy do?" This question became a guiding principle for:
- Asserting Personal Needs: Moving away from a default mode of compliance to actively identifying and pursuing her own desires.
- Taking Charge: Embracing a sense of agency and leadership in her own life, much like the independent and self-reliant figure of a cowboy.
- Challenging Submissiveness: Resisting the urge to always defer to others, especially in contexts where she felt her own needs were being overlooked.
This internal shift from a passive role to one of self-direction and strength forms the foundational meaning of the album.
Broader Themes Explored in Be the Cowboy
Beyond its unique title, Be the Cowboy delves into a complex emotional landscape, reflecting on various aspects of contemporary life:
- Performance and Identity: The album often explores the masks people wear and the roles they play in public and private, questioning the authenticity of these performances.
- Loneliness and Desire: Many songs articulate profound feelings of isolation and the intense longing for connection, even in a world saturated with interactions.
- Vulnerability and Power: Mitski masterfully navigates the delicate balance between expressing raw vulnerability and demonstrating quiet strength, challenging traditional notions of both.
- The American Dream and Consumerism: Subtle critiques of the pursuit of an idealized life and the impact of consumer culture can be found woven into the lyrics.
- Unrequited Love and Obsession: The album frequently touches upon the pain of one-sided affection and the consuming nature of infatuation.
"Being the Cowboy" in Practice
The "cowboy" metaphor extends beyond just personal agency, permeating the album's narrative by illustrating how one might navigate these complex themes with a newfound resolve:
- Emotional Independence: Learning to stand on one's own emotionally, even when love is sought or lost.
- Breaking Free from Expectations: Rejecting societal pressures to conform to certain roles, particularly those traditionally assigned to women.
- Embracing Imperfection: Acknowledging flaws and desires without shame, much like a cowboy who embraces the rugged realities of their existence.
Through its evocative lyrics and compelling soundscapes, Be the Cowboy invites listeners to reflect on their own struggles with identity, power dynamics, and the pursuit of genuine connection, all while subtly encouraging them to embrace their inner "cowboy"—asserting their needs and riding bravely into their own futures.