Mirroring in negotiation is a technique where you subtly repeat the last few words or key phrases spoken by the other party, or reflect their body language and tone, to build connection and encourage them to elaborate.
Mirroring is a powerful negotiation technique that helps build rapport and foster understanding between parties. As popularised by Chris Voss in Never Split the Difference, it involves subtly reflecting words and behaviours to create empathy and encourage deeper discussion. It's a form of active listening that shows you are engaged and processing what the other person is saying.
How Mirroring Works
At its core, mirroring is about echoing. By repeating key words or phrases, you signal to the other person that you are listening carefully. This simple act can make them feel heard and understood, which is crucial for building trust and rapport during a negotiation.
- Subtle Repetition: Typically, you repeat the last one to three words the other person said.
- Behavioural Reflection: This can also involve subtly matching their posture, tone of voice, or pace of speech (use with caution and subtlety).
- Purpose: The goal is to prompt them to continue speaking and reveal more information without asking direct questions.
Why Use Mirroring in Negotiation?
Mirroring offers several significant advantages in a negotiation setting:
- Builds Rapport: It helps establish a connection and makes the other party feel comfortable and more open.
- Fosters Understanding: By encouraging them to elaborate, you gain deeper insights into their perspective, needs, and underlying motivations.
- Creates Empathy: Reflecting their communication style can create a sense of connection and mutual understanding.
- Encourages Deeper Discussion: It naturally prompts the other person to expand on their thoughts, often revealing critical information you might not otherwise discover.
Practical Mirroring Examples
Imagine the other party says: "We're concerned about the timeline for delivery."
Your mirror response could be:
- "Timeline for delivery?"
- "Concerned about the timeline?"
Simply repeating those few words invites them to explain why they are concerned about the timeline, revealing potential issues or constraints you weren't aware of.
| Other Party's Statement | Your Mirror Response | Potential Outcome |
|---|---|---|
| "The price is just too high." | "Too high?" | Prompts them to explain their budget or value perception. |
| "We need more flexibility." | "More flexibility?" | Encourages details on what kind of flexibility they need. |
| "This feature is critical for us." | "Feature is critical?" | Invites elaboration on why that specific feature is so important. |
Tips for Effective Mirroring
Using mirroring effectively requires practice and subtlety. Here are a few tips:
- Be Subtle: Don't repeat everything they say or do it too obviously, as it can come across as mocking or manipulative.
- Use a Questioning Tone: Often, saying the mirrored words with a slight upward inflection makes it sound like an open-ended question, naturally inviting them to continue.
- Pair with Pauses: After mirroring, pause and give the other person space to fill the silence.
- Combine with Other Techniques: Mirroring works well alongside other active listening techniques like summarizing and labeling.
By incorporating mirroring into your negotiation strategy, you can enhance communication, build stronger relationships, and gain valuable information that can lead to more favorable outcomes.
