You likely miss a girl who treated you badly because you still have remnant feelings for her, especially if you cared or loved her deeply. Real emotions don't simply disappear after a breakup.
Understanding Why You Miss Her
It's confusing and painful to miss someone who didn't treat you well. Here's a breakdown of why this happens:
- Lingering Feelings: According to a response, it's normal to still have feelings for her if you cared for her. You can't just switch off emotions like love or affection. These emotions take time to fade.
- Idealization: You might be idealizing the good moments and minimizing the bad ones. Human memory isn't perfect; it tends to focus on positive aspects, especially when dealing with loss.
- Familiarity and Comfort: Even negative relationships can provide a sense of familiarity and comfort. Stepping away from that, even if it was unhealthy, can create a void.
- Hope for Change: You might be holding onto the hope that she will change and the relationship could improve. This hope can make it difficult to move on.
- Low Self-Esteem: If you have low self-esteem, you may believe you deserve the bad treatment or that you won't find someone better.
- Trauma Bonding: In some cases, negative relationships can create trauma bonds. These bonds are formed through cycles of abuse and reward, making it very difficult to break free emotionally.
Moving Forward
Acknowledging these reasons is the first step toward healing. Consider these strategies:
- Acknowledge Your Feelings: Don't suppress your emotions. Allow yourself to feel sad, angry, or confused.
- Focus on the Reality: Create a list of all the ways she treated you badly. Refer to this list when you start to idealize the relationship.
- Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist. Sharing your experiences can help you process your emotions and gain perspective.
- Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself. This could include exercise, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones.
- Set Boundaries: Remind yourself of your worth and the type of treatment you deserve.
- Time: Healing takes time. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories.
