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Why did Baba never call Ali his friend?

Published in The Kite Runner Societal Dynamics 2 mins read

Baba never referred to Ali as his friend primarily due to the deeply ingrained ethnic and religious differences that structured their society. Despite growing up together, as Ali was taken in by Amir's grandfather, societal norms prevented the acknowledgment of a friendship across such rigid social divides.

In their culture, the Hazara people, to which Ali belonged, faced significant discrimination from the dominant Pashtun ethnicity, like Baba. This social hierarchy influenced relationships, often precluding genuine friendships between individuals of different ethnic and religious backgrounds, regardless of their personal history or proximity.

Understanding the Societal Context

The dynamics between Baba and Ali mirrored the broader societal tensions present in their world. This can be understood through:

  • Social Hierarchy: The prevailing social structure placed Hazaras in a subservient position to Pashtuns. This division was not merely social but also ethnic and religious, deeply impacting personal interactions and relationships.
  • Cultural Norms: Traditional expectations and prejudices meant that a Pashtun of Baba's stature would typically not consider a Hazara, even one raised in his household, as an equal or a "friend" in the conventional sense. Their relationship was more akin to that of master and loyal servant, or indeed, family in a paternalistic way, but not one of peer friendship.
  • Parallel Relationships: This societal influence is further highlighted by the relationship between Amir and Hassan. Amir, like Baba, struggled to view Hassan as a true friend, explicitly stating it was "because of their ethnic and religious differences." This parallel illustrates the pervasive nature of these societal barriers on personal bonds, reinforcing that Baba's perspective on Ali was a product of the same cultural environment.

Even though Baba and Ali shared a profound history and were intricately connected through shared life experiences, the prevailing societal norms and ethnic-religious segregation dictated the boundaries of their relationship, preventing Baba from acknowledging Ali as an equal friend. Their bond, while complex and deeply rooted, was defined by the existing social order rather than mutual friendship.